Friday, March 4, 2011

You Know You Are From Northern Ontario When ----

- You only know three spices - salt, pepper and ketchup.

- You design your Halloween costume to fit over a snowsuit.

- The mosquitoes have landing lights.

- You have more miles on your snowblower than your car.

- You have 10 favourite recipes for moose meat.

- Canadian Tire on any Saturday is busier than the toy stores at Christmas.

- You live in a house that has no front step, yet the door is one meter above the ground.

- You've taken your kids trick-or-treating in a blizzard.

- Driving is better in the winter because the potholes are filled in with snow.

- You think sexy lingerie is tube-socks and a flannel nightie with only 8 buttons.

- You owe more money on your snowmobile than your car.

- The local paper covers national and international headlines on 1/4 page, but requires 6 pages for sports.

- At least twice a year, the kitchen doubles as a meat processing plant.

- Your snowblower gets stuck on the roof.

- You think the start of moose season is a national holiday.

- You head south to go to your cottage.

- You frequently clean grease off your barbeque so the bears won't prowl on your deck.

- You know which leaves make good toilet paper.

- The major parish fund-raiser isn't bingo - it's sausage making.

- You find -40C a little chilly.

- The trunk of your car doubles as a deep freezer.

- You attend a formal event in your best clothes, your finest jewelry and your Sorels.

- You can play road hockey on skates.

- You know 4 seasons - Winter, Still Winter, almost Winter and Construction.

- The Town Of Blind River buys a Zamboni before a bus.

And Lastly -------

- The most effective mosquito repellent is a shotgun.

These folks know how to dress during Northern Ontario black fly season